How to BE Humble Instead of LOOKING Humble

Back to Philippians today! This month I’m working on chapter 2:1-11, which is all about humility - especially as displayed by Jesus. It’s an appropriate topic, because I’ve been thinking a lot about humility anyway. 

There’s a quote that goes “humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.” (I thought it was C.S. Lewis, but when I looked it up I found out it’s not? C.S. Lewis does write something similar about humility - this article explains the confusion.) 

Anyway, both quotes have been on my mind as I’ve been thinking about pride and humility and self-esteem and self-confidence. 

Because sometimes our idea of what humility looks like is messed up. 

I think most of us, if we saw one person loudly soaking in the attention of a whole room, and another sitting quietly in the corner, would assume the quiet one is more humble. We think of pride as loud and arrogant and swaggering around seeking attention, while humility is quiet and meek and avoiding the spotlight. 

But we’re forgetting something important: pride and humility are not personality traits. They’re character traits. There’s a difference. One is outward behavior, the other is the motivation behind the behavior.

And pride is sneaky. It may show up most clearly in loud, proud, over-confidence, but it’s also just as capable of motivating someone to sit down and shut up. 

And I should know. 

I am the quiet one. I am the one always deflecting attention away from me. I am the one who is hesitant to speak up, especially if I’m not sure how my words will be received. 

And the motivation in my heart is usually to hide, to stay safe, to avoid any situation where I might be judged or disliked. It comes from a place not of confident self-forgetfulness, but fearful, prideful self-consciousness. I am crazy good at doing what LOOKS humble because I don’t want anyone to THINK I’m prideful. 

And so for me, lately, becoming more humble means opening up, speaking up, stepping out of the corner and allowing the attention to be on me. It means learning to care more about whether I’m actually serving people than whether I look like a good servant. It means sometimes being willing to take the risk that people may assume I’m just trying to get attention and glory for myself, in order to actually step out and bring glory to God. 

It’s probably important to note that this is descriptive, not prescriptive. Sure, if you are just like me and your pride manifests as shyness, you can learn something here. But if you’re more naturally inclined to seek visible glory, being humble might look very different for you. 

The lesson for everyone is that pride is sneaky. Being prideful is never about the actions you do; it’s about the posture of your heart behind your actions. 

And so the only sure defense against pride is to bring your heart closer to the heart of God. That’s the only way to trust that your actions are motivated by love for him and his glory. 

If you’re not sure where to start with that? Try meditating on Philippians 2:1-11.