The Story of my Life (well, some of it)

A few things lately have had me thinking about testimonies, and since I had posted mine on my old blog once, I thought it would be a good post to bring over here. So I went and found it, and realized you can’t just copy and paste the testimony you wrote six years ago. I heard someone say once that if God is working in your life, your testimony will change and expand as time goes on, and that’s so true. 

So here’s my testimony; the first part a condensed version of the one I wrote in 2017, the second part expanded to include some of the things I’ve learned in the past six years. 

“The fact that you have no testimony is a testimony.”  I can still hear those words coming from the speaker at camp the year I was in eighth grade. I remember that week of camp well because I’ve read through my notes about a hundred times – especially the lesson about testimonies.  He said that a testimony is the story of “where I was and where I am now, and how Jesus played a part.” 

For a long time, I struggled to explain my testimony.  I’ve always thought it was pretty short and boring.  It’s hard to say “where I was,” because I don’t ever remember a time when I didn’t know Jesus.  There was a definite period when I started to seek and follow Him, but I can’t point to a specific day or event.  The few times I’ve had to give my testimony, I’ve just struggled through it, but lately [as of August 2017]  I’ve figured out how to tell it.  

Testimonies are just stories, and mine is one of those with lots of seemingly minor details that all tie together to make up the whole plot. I always thought it should look something like: “This is what I used to be like, then this one major thing happened and I became a different person.”  Instead, it’s more like: “This is the person I could have been without Jesus, and here are 1000 little things that Jesus did in my life that made me who I am now.”

I “prayed the prayer” to accept Christ when I was four, and I suppose with a child’s faith, that’s probably when I was born again, but obviously I didn’t really know what it meant. I started reading and studying my Bible more sometime around nine or ten, and by the time I was eleven I had a pretty strong faith. That sounds crazy to say now, but I have a journal from that time, and some of the things I wrote were pretty deep for an eleven-year-old. I don’t know exactly how much I understood, but God was working in my heart already then. 

And here’s where it gets to a lot of things that in 2017 I thought were important pieces of the story. But now that I’ve learned a bit more about life and about writing with fewer words, it needs some trimming. 

I went to camp every summer from 5-8th grade, and that was a big part of my spiritual journey, and then in 2012 - well, a lot of different things happened. I read some books that changed my mindset, dove into Bible studies, started keeping a thankfulness journal, and made big plans for the summer - plans which completely changed when I had a last minute opportunity to go on our church’s Mexico Mission trip.

I made new friends, tried new things, and found out what it was like to get out of my comfort zone and share the gospel, which had a huge impact on me throughout my teen years. But that’s only one thing out of dozens that have shaped my story -which is what I said in 2017, and looking back now in 2023? those things that seemed like such a big part of my story at that point get smaller and smaller looking back. 

And that is where I ended in 2017, and it was good, but in hindsight there were certainly some things missing. I have learned so much more about what the core of the gospel really is and what it means to know and love God. I’ve been through burnout and anxiety and major life changes and seeing how God is faithful through it all. And I have continued to nurture those everyday habits that form the tiny threads of the tapestry of the story of God’s faithfulness in my life.

All the little things He used to make me who I am are not getting smaller because they’re less important; they’re getting smaller because He keeps getting bigger. That, I think, is the one defining factor of spiritual growth and development: Jesus gets bigger and more beautiful and takes up a bigger part of your life all the time. 

And while I used to think my testimony was “boring” because I never had a time where I didn’t know Jesus at all, I can now see that the person I was ten years ago didn’t know Jesus all that much compared to now; and I hope I can say the same thing in another ten years. 

Maybe you can relate to my testimony. Maybe you grew up in church and can’t think of a time when you didn’t know Christ, and your story is one of slow, steady growth throughout your life. Maybe you have a more “exciting” testimony; a story of sin and struggle leading to a dramatic transformation into a redeemed child of God. 

Or maybe you don’t have a testimony yet - at least not one that you know of. Maybe you’re still in the “before Christ” part of your testimony. But that doesn’t mean God isn’t working in your life. I pray someday you will be able to look back and see how every turn of the road was always leading you straight to His grace and redemption. 

Here’s how I wrapped up my testimony in 2017, and I think it’s still a solid ending: 

The fact that you have no testimony is a testimony” means that not having an exciting testimony is a testimony of how God has brought me to where I am with everyday faithfulness instead of one earth-shaking moment.  It may seem boring at first glance, but He is still at work. 

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from writing this, it’s that God is good, all the time.  Nothing will ever separate me from His unfailing love.  (Romans 8:38-39) I am confident that He who has begun a good work in me will complete it. (Philippians 1:6) So whether I die tomorrow or live another twenty years, or forty, or sixty, I’ll keep following Him, and trusting Him to keep writing my story as I keep telling His.